How to set my mind when having a one-on-one conversation.

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1. Listen/pay attention: 
Though I am not very young considering my age, I find it difficult to let go of pressure or tension when talking with others. The thought of “what should I say?” If I say this, would it be good? Will I sound too awkward? Will my thoughts be too irrelevant? Will others laugh at me?, etc., always makes me carry unnecessary burdens when interacting with others, ultimately leading to having no words, having no idea, becoming stuck, being trapped by my thoughts, suppressing my social skills and suppressing my creativity as well. To overcome such bad habits, the first step that I can take is to forget all these feelings. Let go of all the negative thoughts in my mind. I should live in the present moment, I should feel, I should visualize and I should listen to what they are saying to me. By showing this sincerity, the negative thoughts can be automatically or easily removed, which will eventually lead to a better response, better reply, better answer, better idea, etc. However, to apply this insight, I need to instill one key element in my mind and heart.

2. Be bold and courageous: 
To stay calm and confident in social settings, in addition to being attentive, I need to have a strong mentality, a courageous mind, and a brave attitude. I need to be bold no matter what the outcomes are. For instance, during a conversation, if I want to share my opinion with my peers, before sharing it, I will filter what I am about to say by asking myself this: does it spread negativity, hurt others, or go against God's will? After going through this filter stage, if it is clean and pure enough, I will share it. It doesn't matter if others may dislike me or make fun of me. Because I share my thoughts without masking, I stay true to myself and I maintain my boldness. Even if the outcomes are bad, I will tell myself that I'm doing great. I don't have to feel inferior because I am bold and brave. However, to cultivate a bold mentality, one needs to practice and train for it. Physicality also comes into play.

3. Physical exercise:
Since our mind is interlinked with our body, a strong body leads to a strong mind and vice versa. So we cannot neglect our physical well-being. To develop a strong mind, we need to develop our physical as well. Taking regular exercise, or having a proper exercise routine, can also enhance our mental toughness and well-being.

4. Spider diagram method: 
Instead of randomly or mindlessly saying things, think about the mind map or the spider diagram method. Consider your main ideas/points, and if there are more than one, separate them as it is done in a spider diagram method. Under each point, think about the subpoints that align with the main point you have come up with. By doing this, you can visualize your ideas or points in a spider diagram pattern, making it much easier to organize your thoughts and share them with others.

These are the 4 points that I can mention as of now. Every time I feel like struggling in social settings, I will try to remind myself by reading this article.

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